Not Another Transformers Survival Guide!
by entercleverpennamehere
Summary: Movieverse - Things happen in the Autobots' N.E.S.T base: good things, bad things, and 'you just had to be there' things. Join Sari Sumdac as she tries to adjust to this other universe's happenings in a rulebook format, all while having her sanity tested by her new teammates' antics. AU with Animated elements. RE-UPLOADED - LAST VERSION WAS RANDOMLY DELETED
1. Rules 1-10

I DON'T OWN TRANSFORMERS (IT BELONGS TO HASBRO) OR ANY OF THE MENTIONED BRANDS/RECOGNISABLE CHARACTERS - OCs ARE MINE

I know that this format has been used about a billion times, but hey - I was bored and decided to try my hand at it!

It's based in a Movieverse AU (with Animated elements) in which Sari Sumdac (again, from TFA) had accidentally ended-up at NEST's base; I probably won't explain the whole backstory in this fic, but hopefully it's easy enough to follow - Enjoy!

**UPDATE 7TH JUNE 2014 - I tried to check-up on this story earlier today and noticed that it had been completely wiped off the face of the planet - there is no trace of it on this website anymore. So after some frustrated growls, I've decided to re-upload it**

**Thanks to all of my previous reviewers - please review this one too!**

* * *

The Technorganic girl whacked the human computer monitor with her hand in frustration; being from the future (albeit in another universe), she was used to hyper fast computers, and these ones seemed rather primitive to her.

"Is this thing on?"

Finally, Sari Sumdac managed to reboot the already ageing computer, and began her lengthy task.

* * *

Right, Sari Sumdac signing-in for my task *ahempunishment*. Seems that this universe's Prowl is as keen on rules as the Twins are on pranks, hence my challenge of compiling this list of rules and regulations that both humans and Autobots on the NEST base need to abide by (for their own good). Fun.

It's really struck me in my time here that the bots here have loads of similarities to my bots back home, so it's been really funny to see how these bots that I think I know react to everyday happenings here in Autobot Central! That being said, I was never subjected to this kinda thing back home - groundings, sure, but not being forced to write a whole bunch of rules against my will!

Anyway, I doubt Prowl would appreciate this introduction, so here goes!

* * *

** #1 Don't impersonate bots **

(We were all kinda stuck on what to do for April Fools' Day, and Mikaela came-up with this gem: dressing as the Autobots)

(We decides to only do subtle things, like copying only iconic parts of the bots)

(Sam went around with Optimus-like audio fins, Epps wore a miniature version of Prowl's visor, Leo wore a copy of Jazz's visor, I had Delta's doorwings, Mikaela wore only black and yellow, and Lennox had Ironhide's cannons etc...)

(We pretended that we didn't know what they were talking about when they asked us what we were doing. As a result, pretty much all of the bots ran examinations on themselves to check that their optics weren't malfunctioning)

(Needless to say, the Autobots were speechless)

(Some found it cute)

(Some found it creepy)

**#2 The following movies are banned indefinitely: **

1\. ET

(As 'ETs' themselves, they WILL constantly quote it)

(Bee was making a comm call back to base, and all we could hear in the background was _'ET phone home!'_)

2\. Titanic

(Delta refused to talk to Prowl for 3 days after the ban)

(Mind you, it does have a habit of reducing ancient, battle-hardened aliens to blubbering messes)

(_'That music!'_)

3\. Fast and Furious (and sequels)

(The younger bots WILL absolutely attempt those crazy stunts)

(And us teenagers WILL absolutely come along for the ride)

(The gears in my left knee still squeak...)

4\. Twilight (and sequels)

(The Lambo Twins were convinced that Prowl was a vampire)

_('But Sari, think about it: he's silent, really fast, and he sparkles in the sunlight!'_)

(Needless to say, Prowl found out. He played along, and even roped-in Delta, Elita and Optimus to pretend to have been 'turned' too!)

(Everyone else laughed about it, but I think Sides and Sunny are still suspicious...)

5\. A Goofy Movie

(No comment)

(Except that it involved possums)

(And Sam's Donald Duck impression)

(And one creeped-out weapons specialist)

**#3 Do not try to convince Bulkhead that rubber ducks work for Megatron and are ALWAYS WATCHING **

(He didn't believe Bee at first)

(Until Wheeljack decided to make 'Ducky Cam' - a security camera hidden within Sam's old rubber duck collection)

(Needless to say, poor Bulky always looks over his shoulder when anyone refers to ducks)

(I think he may have developed Anatidaephobia)

**#4 DO quote Johnny English **

(Who knew the bots have a thing for British humour?)

('_Pull yourself together, it's only a bit of poo!' -_ Ratchet, after Jolt fell over in a field. Eww...)

_('You alright, Sunny?' 'Yes, I landed on something quite soft' 'That was me, Sunny' 'Ah. Good' -_ The Lambo Twins after falling down an old mine)

_('My fragrant Cybertronian AFT you're not_!' - Delta after a rather stressful meeting with Galloway and co. I high-fived her for that)

_('Arrest that mech, and lock him away!' _the look on everyone's faces when Prowl said this to an apprehended Bee was priceless!)

**#5. Do not, and I repeat, do NOT alter the bots' holoforms! **

(The femmes decided to get revenge on their mates and friends)

(They were chased for miles!)

(But we still have the tapes. Sweet blackmail...)

**#6 Humans, take great care when trying to pronounce Cybertronian **

(Oh Sam...)

(I was informed of his previous attempts. This one was not much better)

(_'How do seats talk to the Seeker?'_ and '_Do you like to smell Jazz's underwear as much as I do?'_ are_ NOT_ valid greetings...)

**#7 Humans and Autobots alike, please don't try to copy Jazz and Prowl's ninja moves**

(It almost NEVER ends well)

(I would know - I've been trying to do it since I was 8)

(Still end-up on my butt)

**#8 Don't leave Ironhide alone with Sam's dog, Mojo **

(Turns out the guy holds a grudge)

(Judy Witwicky walked in to find 'Hide pointing one of his plasma cannons at the Chihuahua)

(She freaked and grounded Ironhide)

(Yes, Sam's mother GROUNDED a tough, cantankerous, ancient robot)

**#9 Don't sell Prowl on eBay **

(Scratch that - don't sell ANYONE on any online shop)

(Both sets of twins and Bumblebee, I'm looking at you)

(When he found out, Prowl made the Chevy Twins write a formal letter of apology to the rather irate woman who didn't get her Kawasaki Ninja...)

(She was NOT happy...)

**#10 Don't give Leo sherbet **

(He pretends that it's drugs)

(Yeeahhh, it was kinda awkward explaining to Ratchet that he wasn't ACTUALLY high)

(Ratchet now insists that he tests every suspicious-looking food that we bring to base now)

(Including strawberries)

(What's suspicious about strawberries?!)

* * *

Et voila! It's probably not that great, but oh well. I'll add new chapters whenever I get the inspiration for them. Bye!


	2. Rules 11-20

Again, I don't own Transformers (Hasbro) or other recognisable brands.

Also, sorry about the Japanese in this - I don't speak it myself so I used Google Translate

* * *

**#11 Do not compare Starscream to SpongeBob**

(Apparently, he gets it a lot)

(But it annoys him. Very much)

(We were battling the 'Cons again the other week, and Bumblebee - the master of tact that he is - repeatedly played and sung the theme tune)

(Screamer had a full-on diva-style hissy fit)

(To this day, I don't think anyone's ears or audios have fully recovered)

_(Who lives in a spaceship under the sea? STARBOB SCREAMPANTS!)_

**#12 As a continuation of Rule #11, it is highly recommended that SpongeBob SquarePants is banned on base**

(Long story short, it just encourages too many Starscream references)

(And StarBob ScreamPants fanart)

(And then there are the psychological effects)

(_'Doesn't it depress you to realise that we all become a Squidward at some point in our lives?'_ \- Delta, and I don't even wanna know the context)

(But it's true)

**#13 Do not talk about weird or wacky inventions around Wheeljack**

(Aww, no more anti-gravity boots...)

(Or small-scale working replicas of Megatron...)

(...Okay, I totally understand that last one)

(And there's a crater in the training yard to prove it)

**#14 For everyone's sakes, please DO NOT sing OR hum the Smurf Song**

(*coughLEO!*)

('_La la la la la la!'_)

(He was given a warning, but then it inexplicably spread around the base! I wonder how? *ahemCHEVYTWINS!*)

(I even heard Ironhide humming it while polishing his cannons!)

(Creepy...)

**#15 No speaking purely in other languages**

(Simmons happened to mention that it annoyed him when the bots spoke Cybertronian around him)

(So they decided to speak other languages instead)

(Optimus chose Czech, Ratchet chose Swedish, Delta chose Latin, Bee chose Swahili, and Ironhide even chose Welsh!)

(Simmons: _"Prowl, why is Arcee speaking Mandarin and Jazz speaking Russian?"_  
Prowl: _"Anata o tameshite mite, komara seru tame ni - watashi wa, nihongo o hanashite iru no to onaji riyū"_  
Simmons: _o.O_ )

**#16 Humans, please refrain from licking Autobots when it is freezing outside**

(I don't even know what the Pit they were thinking)

(Yeah, although I felt kinda sorry for Sam being frozen to Bee, I felt really bad for Leo)

(He chose Ironhide)

**#17 Don't even try to attempt Evel Kinevel stunts on any of the Cycleformers**

(The consequences won't be pretty)

(Thankfully, as soon as Sam even asked Prowl, he was taken straight to the brig to 'think about all that could go wrong', through the medium of motorcycle accident footage)

(Sam won't even dare to touch Prowl, Arcee, Elita or Chromia any more)

**#18 No mocking different bots' accents**

(Sides and Sunny somehow thought that it would be a good idea to copy Ironhide, Prowl and Delta's English accents)

(And proceeded to walk around the base all day doing it)

(Needless to say, Prowl can do a scarily good Sideswipe impression)

(The Twins haven't attempted it since)

**#19 DO NOT take all of the bots' names literally**

(For some reason we decided to do impressions of the bots' names)

(Mikaela had to buzz all day in a literal representation of Bee's name)

(Sam got dared to be Sunny - let's just say that it involved him literally streaking across the base with only a little cut-out sunshine covering his private region)

(We were scarred. So were the bots)

(So very much)

**#20 DO take other bots' names literally**

(Delta CAN speak Ancient Greek)

(Leo wanted to put Prowl's name to the test)

(The ninjabot found us out)

(Yeeeeaahhh... Sometimes it's best NOT to question how a bot got his/her name)

(Leo's still adamant that Prowl stalks him)

* * *

Until next time, thank you for reading, my pretties :-)


	3. Rules 21-30

Yet again, I do not own Transformers or any other recognisable brands :-)

* * *

**#21 No getting spy cameras to infiltrate the Decepticon Base for reasons other than reconnaissance**

(Nobody was to know what we would see that day...)

(But Starscream... *winces* _dancing..._)

(It frightened us. It disturbed us. It amused us)

(But boy can he move them hips!)

**#22 Do not tell any of the science bots (especially Wheeljack) that you are annoyed with anyone at the same time you're asking for a remote to be fixed**

(Sam made the grave mistake of moaning about the Chevy Twins stepping on his X-Box remote and then almost falling on him)

('Jackie couldn't resist)

(The next thing we knew, Mudflap and Skids were running around the training yard against their will)

(Oh how we laughed)

(Until Bulkhead accidentally crushed the remote)

(Oh how we mourned it)

**#23 Please refrain from saying 'Your mom/mum' after somebody asks a question.**

(There were reports of this universe's Lockdown in the solar system)

(The bots made the mistake of discussing it in English when Leo was in the immediate vicinity)

(Mirage: _"So, uh, who is this Lockdown?"_  
Leo [pointing at Prowl] _"Your mom!"_  
Prowl merely twitched)

(Ratchet: _"Who's on patrol today?"_  
Ironhide: _"Your mum! Sorry"_  
Ratchet: ...  
This was getting out of servo)

(Cliffjumper: _"Guess what I saw on YouTube last night?"_  
Delta: _"Your mum?"_)

(It was the last straw when Cliffjumper was annoyed at Bee and Optimus intercepted with ninja precision,  
Cliff: _"What did you do, Bumblebee?"_  
Optimus: _"YOUR MOM!"_  
Cliff: _"What is everyone's obsession with my mother?!_ *storms off*")

**#24 When painting, please refrain from using strong-smelling paint**

(Yeah... I kinda hung-around Bulkhead's painting for too long)

(I don't remember much; apparently I ran around pretending to be a spy, and giggled A LOT)

(All I remember is screaming _"I wanted the monkey chocolate"_ extremely loudly right in Ratchet's face, before everything turned into a blur)

(My processor was aching for an hour after that)

**#25 If you must buy a toy car, make sure that it's not the same as anybot's alt mode**

(It had been know to cause some confusion)

(Confusion involving a red and pink Aston Martin DB9, a black and yellow Chevrolet Camaro, and silver and gold Lamborghini Murcielagos)

(The Lambo Twins shot their 'clones', Bee freaked and stepped on his, and Delta wanted to take hers apart for analysis)

(I guess these bots haven't been briefed on remote controlled cars yet)

**#26 One Direction songs are banned from base until further notice**

(The Lambo Twins randomly serenading the femmes to _'What Makes You Beautiful'_ was the last straw)

(Half of the base cheered when they heard about the ban, while the other half sulked)

(Optimus was part of the latter group - who knew he was a fan?)

**#27 Don't go overboard with creating memes**

(Who knew Jolt was a meme genius? He introduced the concept of them to the others)

(The next day, several dozen new posters were discovered decorating the walls of the base, such as a collage of multiple pictures of Ironhide, with the caption 'Suddenly Ironhides. Thousands of them')

(As well as ones of Ratchet's notorious 'bitch please' face)

(Long story short, it got a teensy bit out of hand...)

(But Prowl secretly kept his 'I can has ninja' one. I saw it in his office)

**#28 No quoting SpongeBob incessantly**

(Mwhahaha)

(Ironhide: _"Jazz, that hat makes you look like a femme"_  
Jazz: _"Am I a pretty femme?"_  
Ironhide: _"Well, yes... You're... You're beautiful"_  
Ratchet: o.O _"Walk away...")_

([About being Decepticons]  
Bee: _"And you get to talk tough"_ *gruff voice* _"This planet ain't big enough for the two of us"_  
Bulkhead: _"Let me try. Uh... Hey, punk"_  
*Chromia facepalmed*)

(_"My leg!"_ ~ Wheeljack, many, many times)

(You have no idea how much we all laughed when _Starscream_ of all bots said _"I'm ready!"_)

**#29 Don't play video games ALL NIGHT LONG**

(...Oops...)

(A recharge-deprived Sunstreaker is not a pretty Sunstreaker)

(He made the fatal mistake of growling at Ratchet. Nobody growls at Ratchet and gets away with it unscathed)

(Sorry for suggesting an all-night video game marathon, Sunny!)

**#30 NEVER mess with Annabelle Lennox's beloved teddy bear, Mr. Snuggles**

(She takes him EVERYWHERE. The amount of times the bots have almost stepped on him... And humans have almost tripped over him...)

(Ratchet took him away to wash him without telling Annie. Bad move)

(She screamed very, very loud and refused to talk to Ratchet for a week)

(...And I think that several bots' audios are still busted, effectively creating tons more work for Ratchet)

(Thinking about it, I think Annie might have done that on purpose...)

(...Who knew 4-year-olds had a thing for revenge?)

* * *

Well, couldn't think of any others, so see ya next time :-)


	4. Rules 31-40

Hey guys! Again, I do not own Transformers or anything else that you recognise.

Also, thanks to my lovely reviewers for the suggestions - please keep them coming in!

* * *

**#31 If you value your life and/or sanity, please don't watch Mythbusters**

(Wheeljack WILL totally try to copy their experiments with DANGEROUS consequences)

(He wanted to test the range on his new experimental grenades)

(Never again)

(We're currently in trouble with 3 nearby states)

(And Prowl's right optic still twitches whenever the incident is mentioned)

**#32 Raccoons are not pets**

(Prowl brought a raccoon back to base. Obviously, Ratchet didn't approve)

(Prowl kept it for 3 days. Then things started getting ugly...)

(Sunny woke up with scratches all over his beloved paintjob, one of Delta's datapads was muddy, and one of Wheeljack's inventions had worryingly gone missing)

(Ratchet ordered Prowl to put it back wherever he found it, or else he would reprogram his vocaliser to sound like _"one of those slaggin' raccoons"_)

(Funnily enough, the ninjabot agreed)

(Last thing I heard of it was that it got into a now very scratched Knockout's room at the Decepticon base)

**#33 No fireworks on base**

(Do I really need to explain this?)

(I was sat in the rec room looking after Annie one afternoon to hear a massive explosion, numerous screams, and what appeared to be Delta ranting at someone)

(Obviously I went to investigate)

(I found Mudflap and Skids - both missing various parts of their armour - looking rather sheepishly at the floor)

(Apparently they decided to try their hands at pyrotechnics)

(A slightly charred Delta was shouting at them in Cybertronian)

(Unfortunately I can understand a bit of Cybertronian)

(What I heard wasn't pretty)

**#34 Horror stories are not the wisest things to do in the company of bots of a nervous disposition**

(Apparently Jazz is a horror story genius - he was telling us this really creepy tale one rather clichéd stormy night)

(Even _Ironhide_ was quivering)

(Unfortunately, Red Alert took it a bit _too_ literally)

(We all woke up the next morning to find ourselves locked into our rooms, apparently 'for our own safety')

(Finally, after a combination of gentle persuasion, bribery, and death threats, we finally managed to get him to calm down a bit)

(... But I still don't think his reaction was as priceless as my universe's Bee's when I used the Key that time)

**#35 DO reference Scooby Doo when investigating a creepy old mine for an energon deposit that may or may not have a space barnacle monster**

(_"Let's split up and look for energon"_ ~ Fredimus Prime, everyone)

(_"Bumblebee where are you?!"_ ~ Me, obviously)

(_"Shouldn't it rhyme, like 'Bumblebee, where are thee?' or something?"_ ~ Delta, I respect you so much)

_("And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddling Autobots!"_ ~ Turns out Lazerbeak was behind the monster)

**#36 Make sure that the Wii remotes are strapped to your wrist AT ALL TIMES when playing on it**

(Clearly poor Bulkhead wasn't aware of just how much an Autobots-sized TV costs)

(And the government wasn't willing to buy a new one!)

(Thankfully, after a lot of pleading, bribery and puppy dog eyes, they gave-in)

(Result!)

**#37 For the love of everything, please don't alter vocalisers, no matter how hilarious it is at first**

(It will ALWAYS come back to bite you in the aft. _Especially_ if a ninjabot is your victim)

(Bee reprogrammed Prowl's vocaliser to sound like a certain variety of singing tree-dwelling rodent)

(We all laughed so much)

(But apparently Bee underestimated Prowl's desire for revenge, and woke up the next morning with a femme's voice)

**#38 Don't quote Finding Nemo**

(_"Fish are friends, not food"_ ~ Jazz, trying to stop Prowl's raccoon from eating Annabelle's pet goldfish)

([Sunstreaker had for some reason challenged Prowl to a sparring match. Sunny got his butt kicked.]  
Sunny: _"Oh... What happened...?"_  
Sides: _"I saw the whole thing, bro. First you were all like 'whoa', and we were like 'woah', and you were like 'whoa...'"_  
Sunny: _"What are you talking about?"_  
Sides: _"You taking on Prowler like that. You've got some serious thrill issues, dude. Awesome"_)

(Bee: _"I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy. Come on, Squishy. Come on, little Squishy."_  
Sam: _"Bee? Seriously?"_ *Flicks Bee away from him*  
Bee: _"Ow, bad Squishy, bad Squishy"_  
Sam: ... )

([The Decepticons found this underground energon vein, so we had to dive down to the bottom of Lake Michigan]  
*Awkward silence on the way down*  
Jazz: _"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."_  
Prowl: _"Jazz..."_  
Bumblebee and Jazz: _"Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming..."_  
Prowl: _"I'm warning you..."_  
Twins, Bee and Jazz: *louder* _"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!"_  
Delta: _"I you don't stop singing right now you're going back to the plane!"_  
Jazz: _"But Del-"_  
Delta: _"No 'buts'"_  
Jazz, Bee and Twins: *pout*)

**#39 Don't eat Arcee**

(Why is this even a _thing_?)

**#40 Humans, don't leave anything in the bots' interiors**

(Chromia still won't talk to Leo after the candyfloss incident...)

(I still don't understand how it could happen to _her_ \- she's a _motorcycle_. She doesn't _have_ an interior)

(Another time, it was pretty awkward for Mikaela who had to try and explain to her teacher exactly what happened to her homework...)

(Even now, Ironhide still deposits shredded paper and confetti when he walks)

* * *

Until next time! :-)


	5. Rules 41-49

Again, I do not own Transformers or anything else that you recognise - they all belong to their respective owners!

* * *

**#41 Do not ask the Bots to do your homework for you**

(You should have seen Sam's smug face when Optimus told him that the Autobots would be happy to assist with schoolwork)

(Unfortunately, Sam took this to heart a bit and asked that Delta did the whole thing)

(Of course Delta caught-on _pretty_ quickly as to what he was up to, but she did the whole thing regardless, clearly predicting what was going to happen)

(Sam had a challenge trying to explain to his teacher how on Earth he managed to solve a trick Maths equation that is apparently unsolvable to humans...)

**#42 Lightsabres, be they fake or real (*coughWheeljack*) are not allowed on base**

(The guys randomly found an old lightsabre toy while clearing-out Leo's attic)

(Naturally, they brought it back to base to proudly show everyone their find)

(Of course Wheeljack tried to make a real one)

(And of course Sam HAD to run around base wielding it)

(Cliffjumper almost lost half a pede that day)

(Perhaps becoming Luke Skywicky wasn't the best idea...)

(Or was it Sam Witwookie?)

**#43 Bulkhead does not appreciate a certain Miley Cyrus song playing every time he deploys his signature weapon**

_('I came in like a wreeeeeccccckkkking baaaaalllll!_')

(He was not amused)

(We didn't have the heart to show him the music video...)

**#44 Truth Or Dare is ALWAYS a bad** **idea**

(It was awkward when Jolt admitted his crush on Arcee)

(But it was WAAAYYY more awkward when Sideswipe was dared to hug Ratchet)

(And Ratchet is _not_ a hugger.)

(For the record, I'm blaming Elita for starting this)

**#45 Quoting ASDF is awesome and always relevant**

_('Everybody do the flop_!')

(Ratchet thought that everyone was simultaneously glitching)

(The awesome moment in your life when Wheeljack actually creates a Mine Turtle)

(Optimus was VERY disturbed when he received a comm call from the Lambo Twins -  
Sides: "_And they said I couldn't teach a llama to drive..."_  
Sunny_: "No, llama, no!"_  
*_Llama audio clip*_  
Optimus just closed the comm link like nothing had happened...)

(There was one day that the 'Cons decided to attack some random energon reserve. All was quiet after Starscream had made his obligatory_ 'I am the true leader of the Decepticons, bow before me miserable Autobots - mwhahaha'_ speech. That is, until Bee broke the silence with a war cry of "**_Throw the CHEESE_**!")

(The Seekers just hovered there, staring at him, as Bee somehow procured a lump of cheese from his subspace and proceeded to throw it at Screamer. It didn't go down too well...)

(And Sam yet again displayed his admirably feminine scream the other day when he cut into a slice of cake that Leo had booby-trapped to beg for mercy as soon as the knife pierced it)

(Sam retaliated by mercilessly punching Leo's salad)

**#46 If you see any of the younger, male bots trying to smuggle-in any car magazines, CONFISCATE THEM OR ALERT A SENIOR OFFICER**

(Yeeaaahhh... I don't think this really requires much explanation...)

(Other than the fact that Knock Out's arrival has influenced some of the others)

(Apparently the former 'Con has QUITE the collection...)

**#47 Speaking of our new turncoat, DO NOT mess with Knock Out's paintjob**

(Seriously.)

(The Chevy Twins learnt that the HARD way...)

(Remember: KO is a medic, and therefore knows just as much about DISASSEMBLY as he does about repairing bots)

**#48 Humans, if your see an overcharged (drunk) bot, DO NOT APPROACH THEM**

(Lennox reeaaalllyyy didn't want to see Ironhide flirting with Chromia)

(Or Optimus trying to chat-up a NORMAL red car thinking it was Delta, who wasn't pleased. Not to mention the soldier who owned it was scarred)

(And Epps cannot make eye contact with Knock Out any more. He refuses to tell us why, only that it involved a very deep, philosophical Doc Knock, a tub of glue, and a chainsaw)

**#49 Be very wary when playing board games such as Scrabble with the bots**

(They kinda invent rules as they go along)

(One evening, Mirage was particularly annoyed - "_What do you mean 'I can't use my designation'?"_  
Lennox: _"Uh, the rules say that we can't use proper nouns.._."  
Mirage_: "But it's_ _a normal word, too!")_

(A favourite thing of Delta's to do is use words from other languages - she got all huffy when we said that she couldn't use _'Cruditate'_)

(And a favourite thing of ALL of the bots to do is use words in Cybertronian. How is this possible with the vastly differing alphabets? The bots use all of the blank tiles to write Cybertronian letters on, before slipping them back into the bag of other tiles in the hope that we won't notice)

(We always do)

* * *

Well, here we are again - this chapter is slightly shorter because I'm planning to do something a little different for Rule #50, so please bear with me. Reviews are always welcome, but please try not to be too negative (thanks to my previous reviewers and followers who have already been kind to me!). (PS - The word 'Cruditate' that is mentioned in rule #49 is in Latin; translate if you wish, but I warn you now - it's a reeeaalllyyyy random word!) THANK YOU! AND SEE YA NEXT TIME!


	6. Rule 50

I don't own Transformers - otherwise I would be exceedingly rich

Well, here's my first major milestone! So, as I promised you all in the previous chapter, here is my slightly different format Rule #50. Enjoy!

* * *

**#50 Try not to be over-protective of the bots**

All-in-all, Ratchet mused, the brief battle had been a success; Starscream had been (yet again) embarrassed, the public had not seen them, and most importantly, the Autobots had managed to claim the energon deposit. Most injuries were minor - that is, most apart from Prowl.  
That overconfident ninjabot had gotten a bit too involved with the wrong end of Shockwave's plasma blaster, resulting in a partially-severed right leg on top of the usual cuts, dents and scrapes. In Ratchet's opinion, the kid was lucky that he didn't quite break a vital fuel line.

It had been noted, particularly for the first few weeks after her unpredicted 'arrival', that Sari was very wary of certain bots going into battle. This was not to say that she didn't care about the other Autobots, but the girl was particularly protective and worried about those ones who, in her world, were her teammates. This included Prowl in particular.  
And this fact, naturally, had not gone unnoticed by the ever-observant motorbike. On several occasions he had attempted to question Sari's actions, but he, along with the others, were not quite sure how to go about it - was she missing her real teammates that much? Did she just have favourites? Or had something happened back in her universe to provoke this behaviour?

But right at that moment, this was the least of Prowl's concerns. Right now, his priorities lay in his leg; he groaned aloud at the thought that his injury would prevent him from any further training for weeks.  
"You okay, Prowl?"  
Prowl snapped out of his misery and back into the real world, only now noticing the dull throb in his lower thigh again. He looked at the medic and replied with a rather terse "Yes, thank you Ratchet,"  
The medic nodded and went back to his work (which was currently the rather fiddly task of realigning one of the vital pieces of circuitry in the top of Prowl's detached lower leg), muttering about bots not looking before they leapt in battle situations.  
However, the medic's delicate work (and dark mutterings) were abruptly interrupted by someone opening a comm link with him,  
::What is it?:: he grunted, placing his tweezers down in frustration.  
::It's Optimus, and I was wondering how Prowl is doing?::  
::Well, _Sir_,:: the only reason that Optimus didn't view Ratchet's tone as insubordination was the fact that he had known the medic for millennia. Ratchet raised his voice purposely so that Prowl would hear the next part, ::He seems to be doing fine. Of course, the situation would be VERY different if he HAD severed his fuel line, too::  
Prowl rolled his optics behind his visor.  
::But as I said before, I reckon he'll make a full recovery. Anything else, Prime?::  
Optimus hesitated slightly, ::Um, yes, actually. It's Sari - she's really upset::  
Ratchet blinked ::What?::  
::Yes, Delta's currently trying to comfort her, but-::  
However, Optimus' voice was interrupted by a new feminine one on the comm line, ::Sorry for hacking the comm link, but I think you both need to know that Sari's absolutely beside herself and I've tried to explain to her that he's going to be okay and that we've seen far worse injuries before but- SARI!::  
::Delta, what is it?:: Optimus was concerned by the abrupt end to the femme's concerned babbling.  
The answer they two mechs received had metal clanging in the background - presumably Delta was running, ::She's escaped from my office and I am in pursuit. Oh no... Heads up, Ratchet, she's heading your way!::  
::What?! No! Keep her out of here!:: the medic barked frantically.  
::Too late,:: the female Prime replied simply as they other 2 Autobots heard the sound of running cease.

As soon as this had been said, the medbay's human-sized door burst open suddenly.  
"Sari?" both Prowl and Ratchet exclaimed.  
The diminutive femme partially ignored the latter, before settling her optics on the former. She used her built-in jetpack to fly up to rest on the ninja's medical berth.  
"Sari? Are you alright?" Prowl asked. The teary optics that looked up to meet his own worried him. She really was upset.  
::Don't let her see the leg:: Ratchet privately comm-ed Prowl so that Sari wouldn't hear.  
Ratchet himself hid the remainder of Prowl's severed lower leg in a drawer until the Technorganic left. However, the girl must have caught-on to what was going on, as she took one glace at the cauterised (yet still flecked with splatters of dried energon) leg, before bursting into tears again. As she wept, the girl hugged the ninja's servo fiercely, muttering something between sobs.  
The mech looked towards the medic for help, before lifting the girl up in the palm of said servo, "What's wrong, Sari? Please don't cry," this didn't seem to work, "I'm gonna be okay..."  
This simple sentence just made the poor girl's crying intensify.

After a few minutes, both Primes entered and Sari's crying had gotten down to a level where she could talk to the Autobots better, "I don-don't w-want you to go!" she stuttered out.  
The gathered bots raised their optic ridges, "What do you mean, Sari?"  
"P-please don't go offline!"  
Their optics all widened at this, "Nobody's going to die, sweetie. What makes you say that? Is this why you're so upset? Because you think we're going to die?" Delta bent down to Sari's level.  
The girl nodded, hiccupping, before wiping her watery optics, "I-it's pretty s-stupid, right?"  
"Not at all, Sari. We're just confused. Mind telling us what happened?" Optimus asked.  
"Well... Sorry, Prowl, but..." she turned to the ninja who looked at her hopefully, "The P-Prowl in my world, he... Sacrificed himself to save Detroit... We didn't even get to say goodbye..."  
"Ah... And that's why you've been particularly protective of us?" Delta asked gently.  
"But you talk about him in the present, as if he's still alive," Ratchet pointed out.  
Sari chuckled, "That's because he is,"  
All of the bots blinked at this, "What?"  
Sari grinned, feeling a bit better now, "Yeah, nobody's quite sure how, but I think it was because his spark was absorbed into the AllSpark, it, like, kept him alive or something. I don't know entirely, but all I do know is that he's up and about and doing his ninja stuff as if he was never away,"  
"Ookayyy... But Sari, at least he's back now, huh?" Delta smiled slightly at her, and then at their Prowl, "Right, Prowl?"  
Said ninja, however, was staring off into space. He snapped his attention to the two females and responded briefly, "Right,"  
"Yeah, and I guess I just don't want anything like that to happen again..." Sari looked sheepish.  
"Don't worry Sari. Just tell us in future if you have any problems, okay?" Optimus said.  
Sari nodded.

"Did you want to talk to me about anything?" Prowl asked after a brief moment of silence.  
Sari looked up in surprise, before nodding.  
The Primes nodded and respectfully left, and Ratchet went back to working on the detached part of Prowl's leg.  
"So... What do you want to talk about?" the ninja asked the Technorganic.  
"Hmm," Sari pondered this for a second, "Who shot your leg off?"  
"Shockwave," Prowl replied almost bitterly.  
"So... How are you gonna get revenge on him?"  
Thankful for the respite from the awkwardness of the earlier conversation, Prowl grinned.

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Well, here's the slightly different format - I hope you liked it! Thanks to my loyal reviews and followers - you really make my day! The next chapter will be back in the normal format, but I'm hoping to do every 50th rule in this story format. Again, thank you for all your support, and keep those reviews coming in!


	7. Rules 51-60

**_Hey guys! Sorry for the late update, but I didn't have much inspiration_**

**_Anyway, enjoy the chapter!_**

**_Transformers and any other recognisable brands don't belong to me but to their respective owners_**

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**#51 Sideswipe is to be called "His Awesomely Royal Highness, the Splendid Emperor of All Coolness III"**

(And every Thursday, Prowl is to sing a song about my Awesomeness)

(Before Ironhide is to do all of my patrol hours)

(And Ratchet must paint himself pink and giggle like a little femme whenever he hears his name)

(And ALL if this stuff MUST be done 'cause it's in Prowl's rule list now! MWHAHAHA)

**#52 NOBODY other than PROWL or SARI are to edit this guide**

(OR ELSE)

(As I type this, Prowl is sentencing Sides to his punishment)

(Which, from what I've heard, involves Ratchet painting him pink, him having to do his patrol hours on top of Prowl, Ratchet and Ironhide's hours, as well as finishing the week off with having to perform a song about how wrong he was to try and evade detection)

(Harsh, but funny)

(And yes, I am going to be filming Sides' 'performance')

**#53 Humans, when Prowl is giving you a ride, please refrain from saying "I'm on the prowl"**

(It just sounds a bit weird...)

(And makes the moment awkward)

(Especially when Simmons says it)

(Prowl still can't hold a decent conversation with the guy without it spiralling into the depths of awkwardness)

**#54 No matter how much he tries, don't give-in to Bumblebee if he's trying to get something**

(ESPECIALLY if he uses his doorwings)

(He was begging Sam the other day to take him to a carwash)

(Sam initially refused, so Bee brought out the big guns - he lowered one doorwing and raised the other in a manner reminiscent of a puppy dog's ears, all while giving Sam his puppy dog eyes)

(Sam couldn't refuse, so took Bee to the carwash. It ended badly.)

(Now Sam's stuck with a $200 fine for 'driving recklessly while in the carwash')

(Who knew you could genuinely be charged for that?)

**#55 Bringing magnets into base is not advisable. At all.**

(Well what do you expect? They're all made of metal!)

(And let's not forget the time that Prowl and Bumblebee accidentally got magnetised together)

(And Sunstreaker to Ironhide)

(And Sideswipe to Ratchet)

(And Delta to Optimus. How is this one bad? The Primes were stuck back-to-back. Delta is considerably shorter than her partner. Yeah. She was essentially raised off the ground for a day)

(Let's just say that there were some tensions in the Autobot forces that day)

**#56 Do NOT introduce the bots to fanfiction**

(They will never see My Little Pony in the same light again)

(Or anything, really...)

(I blame Sam's friend Miles for his Star Trek obsession)

(We are becoming increasingly concerned about Ironhide's growing Star Wars obsession)

(We've already had to deny him a giant working lightsabre - *See Rule #42 for why*)

**#57 Look, we appreciate that 'Let It Go' from Disney's 'Frozen' is an EXTREMELY catchy song, but please don't play it on repeat throughout the entire base**

(Jazz, I'm looking at you)

(By the end of the day, almost everyone was singing it)

(Even Galloway)

(*shivers*)

(And it got pretty disturbing when Chromia started singing it while hacking down Decepticons)

(And even creepier when Ironhide joined-in)

(But it was just plain freaky when Blitzwing began singing it while firing shards of ice at us)

(This incident has since prompted Miles to write a crossover fanfic about it)

**#58 Despite using a bow and arrow as her primary weapon of choice, Delta is not Robin Hood**

(After discovering the tale of Robin Hood, Bee got it into his processor that Delta was in fact the female version of Robin Hood, morals and species notwithstanding)

(He called it 'Delta Hood and her Merry Mechs')

(Things got a little weird when we happened to stumble across an energon vein in Sherwood Forest, England...)

**#59 Again with the memes! They're hilarious but they get on some people's nerves, so please refrain from making them**

(Ratchet, Ironhide and Prowl were NOT happy to see their faces plastered onto huge posters with the captions _'I had fun once. It was awful'_)

(I swear I heard Optimus snort when he saw one)

(Apparently, it wasn't Jolt the Master of Memes' doing this time)

(So it was obviously either set of Twins or Bee)

(And so the Meme War began)

(The officers had their revenge in the form of putting photos of the younger mechs in lookalike boxes, and putting them alongside images of their apparent doppelgängers)

(Needless to say, Sunstreaker was NOT happy to be compared to a cheesy smiling cartoon sunflower)

(The Meme War went back and forth for days, until it was discovered that it was actually Arcee who was behind the original memes)

(She went into hiding for two days following the discovery as a result of someone using a photo of her doing a very derpy facial expression as blackmail)

**#60 Don't leave Simmons alone in a room with Galloway**

(Astonishingly, the culprit was Delta - _apparently_, she was doing this as part of an experiment)

(Knock Out reckons that it was actually because she had had enough of patronising board meetings. AND the results would be hilarious)

(Either way, at the end of the day, we saw the two men sitting at opposite ends of the room, both rocking back and forth, with about 3000 games of noughts and crosses scrawled over the walls)

(To this day, if people and bots offer to play noughts and crosses with either of them, they provoke a nervous twitch)

* * *

_**Well, I hope that was okay!**_

_**Thanks for the positive reviews, especially since the story randomly deleted itself**_

_**Keep on reviewing!**_

_**See ya!**_


	8. Rules 61-70

Here are rules 61-70

Enjoy!

**Transformers or any other recongnisable brands do not belong to me but to their respective owners**

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**#61 DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT tamper with Knock Out's 'beauty products'.**

(The Chevy Twins learnt that the hard way)

(Apparently they decided to test the limits of the newest Autobot's notorious vanity)

(From what I heard, Mudflap added paint thinner to KO's rather expensive tub of wax, while Skids replaced the buffer bit of his buffer with sandpaper)

(All was not well in the Autobot Base that day)

(Elita still swears she heard Knock Out's scream from the other side of the base)

(Let's just say that the Chevy Twins woke up the next morning completely armourless and in each-other's bodies)

(To this day, Knock Out refuses to tell us how he did it)

**#62 Do not let the bots watch Epic Rap Battles of History on YouTube**

(We had to explain to them that the videos, however entertaining they are, are NOT reliable historical sources)

(On the plus side, they've also allowed everyone to settle their disputes in a non-violent way)

(Who knew Bulkhead was such a good rapper? He wiped the floor with Smokescreen)

(And Blackout was VERY confused when Arcee responded to his shots with rapping)

('Cee won, for the record)

**#63 Humans, if the Autobots are racing, please don't sit in/on them**

(We REALLY don't want to scrape human remains off the ground...)

(And the bots don't particularly enjoy cleaning puke out of their interiors)

(And now Prowl's looking at me like I'm a hypocrite)

(It's not _my_ fault I'm the _only_ (semi) human capable of withstanding those speeds safely!)

**#64 Don't diss Drift's haikus**

(It's mean)

(Even if they're cheesy or clichéd)

(Because he sits in his room for hours at a time writing them)

(...Aaand he has samurai swords longer than the average human)

**#65 Don't attach photos of bots' faces to the targets on the shooting range**

(Even if they HAVE annoyed you in some way)

(Because it makes said bots rather angry when they discover that they're actually shooting at miniature versions of their own faces)

(However, images of Decepticons ARE permitted, providing that 'no one sees them')

(Same applies to Galloway's)

(Just don't tell him)

**#66 Autobots, if you value your paint jobs, don't allow Annabelle to help you repaint it**

(Delta helpfully suggested that the base's two vainest mechs, Sunstreaker and Knock Out, permit the adorable, pouting Annabelle to help them touch-up their prized paint jobs)

(She called it 'character building')

(It all started off well, with the two mechs supervising Annie as she painted patches on their arms)

(But then they made their greatest mistake: the allowed her to paint their backs)

(Needless to say, their brightly-coloured backs looked gorgeous)

(Now people call Sunstreaker 'Sunny' more than ever)

(And poor Knock Out just can't shake the nickname 'Rainbow Dash')

(And Delta rubbed it in their faces by saying _"I didn't know you were a My Little Pony fan, Knock Out!"_)

(We reckon she knew full well what was going to happen)

(Delta, you sadistic femme)

**#67 Humans, don't allow the bots to cook for you**

(They've just about grasped the fact that powdered cocoa, when mixed with warm water and milk, is palatable)

(Although their attempt at soup was... Interesting to say the least)

(There was gravel in mine, jagged pieces of metal in Lennox's and Mikaela's, and Sam swears that something moved in his...)

(But we don't have the heart to tell the bots...)

(We just live in the hope that they won't offer to cook again any time soon...)

**#68 When watching cartoons with the bots, we cannot guarantee that you won't get stomach aches from too much laughing**

(While us teens and some of the younger bots were sat watching Fairly Odd Parents one morning, Knock Out strolled in and shocked us all by doing very convincing impressions of certain characters...)

(And then Sam got freaked out when I tried - it's not MY fault that I do a decent Timmy impression!)

(And then there was Bulkhead's Patrick impression when we were watching SpongeBob)

(And don't even get me started on Optimus' uncanny Eeyore impression...)

(Delta was laughing at her partner for hours after that)

**#69 Autobots, even if you're using them for the benefit of others, please be careful when using your holoforms**

(As a Christmas surprise, both sets of twins set their holoforms to either be elves or reindeer, while Bumblebee set his to look like Santa Clause)

(Everyone found it adorable when they surprised Annabelle with a 'visit from Santa')

(It even educated some of the newer Autobots on modern Christmas traditions)

(Unfortunately, Bee's holoform got stuck)

(As a result, we had a holographic Santa Clause trailing around base behind Bumblebee for the next few days)

**#70 Don't try to create homemade shuriken to be like Prowl's**

(For some unknown reason, Leo thought it would be cool to assist the Chevy Twins in fashioning car hubcaps into ninja stars)

(Leo attempted to create one from a CD)

(Epps almost lost an eye that day, while Optimus literally lost part of an audio fin)

(The guys were in DEEP trouble)

(And Prowl, ever the fan of irony, sat on brig guard duty while polishing his shuriken)

(They sulked. We laughed.)


	9. Rules 71-80

**Transformers and other recongnisable brands belong to their respective owners, not me.**

Hey guys! Me again! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but here are rules #71-80 - enjoy!

* * *

**#71 Don't let bots who are perfectionists or suspected of having OCD help Annabelle with her colouring books**

(Delta thought it was cute when Annie accidentally went over the lines)

(But had a mini freakout as she herself spent literally 30 minutes just trying to keep hers neat while using the comparatively tiny colouring implements)

(In the end Annabelle had enough and 'accidentally' spilt a carton of orange juice over Delta's colouring page)

(I think Delta died inside at that)

**#72 Scraplets are NEVER a good idea for a pet**

(LEO, there is a VERY GOOD REASON that all Scraplets seen are to be immediately exterminated)

(Not to mention that over half of the bots have a major phobia of them)

(And no, using them as a revenge prank on certain bots is NOT a valid excuse)

(I have never seen Hound jump up a tree so quickly)

(Neither have I heard Prowl scream so high)

**#73 Just because Optimus, Knock Out and Ratchet use axes and saws as weapons, this does not mean that they appreciate lumberjack-related jokes**

(Although they would be the world's best woodcutting trio)

(They might just find a reason to use said weapons if they're annoyed)

**#74 Humans, please take responsibility for all of your food orders**

(We had a movie night a couple of weeks ago and decided to order some pizza)

(Turns out most of the base's human personnel wanted pizza too)

(In the end the poor delivery boy turned-up at the main gates with 37 pizzas)

(We were fine though, until a VERY irate Galloway arrived the next day)

(Turns out Sam had charged him with the pizza bill)

**#75 As an extension of rule #74, please take responsibility for ALL of your purchases, whether you're human or Cybertronian**

(Evidently Secretary Keller wasn't too pleased to hear that a substantial chunk of NEST's budget had been blown by a certain red medic's 'beauty products')

(And poor Lennox was baffled when he received a bill for an industrial-sized shipment of feathers sent to a Mr. S. Swipe)

(And things got really weird when the base received a delivery of 33 frozen chicken carcasses)

(Nobody knows why, but we all became suspicious when Mirage reported a cry of _"It's alive!"_ from Wheeljack's lab)

(Arcee swears that she saw a roast chicken walking around by itself the next day...)

**#76 Don't persistently ask Ratchet how old he is**

(According to Mudflap and Skids, he's older than the Earth)

(Which obviously isn't true)

(But of course Miles thought it would be a good idea to ask him anyway)

(He emerged from the Med Bay with a fresh bruise on his head)

(Apparently Ratchet has as good an aim with human-sized spanners and wrenches as he does with Autobot-sized ones)

**#77 Inhaling Helium is not suggested**

(We had some left-over from one of the soldier's birthday party)

(Epps had the great idea of inhaling it)

(It was hilarious, and the bots were amused too)

(It was even more amusing, however, when Lennox received a call from an unimpressed Keller half way through, and had to speak to him with a high-pitched voice)

**#78 After a spate of recent irresponsible holoform activity, please be on the lookout**

(You may not be speaking to who you think you are speaking to...)

(As Simmons learnt first hand when he was complaining to who he thought was Lennox about Cliffjumper)

(Little did he know that 'Lennox' was actually Cliff's holoform in disguise)

(And he was NOT pleased with the less than flattering comments from the former Sector 7 agent)

**#79 Don't convince bots, particularly the more impressionable ones, that Soundwave is always watching them**

(The Lambo Twins convinced the Chevy Twins that Soundwave is always monitoring us)

(They got so paranoid they took shifts to look out at night while the other slept)

(Despite being reassured by the others, they're still wary around CCTV cameras)

**#80 No matter how hard you try, you will NEVER be able to say "Transform and roll out" as good as Optimus**

(Yeah... Don't ask why, but it kinda escalated into a talent show to see who could do the best impression)

(Worryingly, the best impression was Arcee's...)

(Optimus is still self-conscious that he somehow sounds feminine...)

(...Even though he doesn't)

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Don't forget to review/follow/favourite! Until next time!


	10. Rules 81-90

Hey guys! Here are rules 81-90

**Transformers or any other recognisable brands do not belong to me, but to their respective owners.**

Huge thank you to DixieChicrules123 for allowing me to use some ideas to inspire rules 85-90!

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**#81 Shockwave is hereby to be known as 'The Worm Whisperer'**

(It all started with Sam, Epps and the others who witnessed the building in Chicago get crushed by the giant worm-thing)

(It's since spread to the other NEST personnel and Autobots' everyday vocabulary)

(What? Shockwave DID ride/control the worm-thing!)

**#82 Don't doodle on bots' battle masks**

(One day pretty much all of the bots with battle masks - including Optimus, Delta, Bee and Prowl - mysteriously woke up with their battle masks deployed...)

(Thinking nothing of it, it wasn't until we were engaged in battle with the Decepticons later that week that we noticed that, when they deployed their masks, there were little smiley faces drawn on them)

(Apparently it was Smokescreen's idea of a joke)

(I laughed, until I noticed that he had done the same to mine...)

(Turns out that being Technorganic doesn't make me exempt from pranks)

**#83 Don't let Annabelle Lennox anywhere near Sam's dog Mojo**

(Particularly when she has access to scissors)

(Poor Jolt, who was supposed to be watching Mojo for Judy Witwicky, had a surprise when he saw what looked like a dog with spiky, uneven fur run past him)

(Then all became clear to him when he saw little Annabelle run after the poor dog cooing _'Come on doggy! Time for your haircut!'_)

(The poor Chihuahua is still wary of children under 10 to this day...)

**#84 No, Crosshairs is NOT wearing a skirt...**

(It's a... Coat-thing...)

(Okay, it vaguely resembles a skirt)

(But don't tell Crosshairs that!)

**#85 Humans AND bots, if you are being hunted-down by Ratchet for something e.g. a checkup, don't bother hiding at anybody's house**

(He WILL find you)

(Yes, Smokescreen, even if you're hiding in Mikaela's dad's garage)

(And yes, Simmons, even if you're hiding in the Lennoxes' bath)

**#86 Although it is very entertaining, watching anyone getting berated by any of the senior Autobot officers is not allowed**

(I think I overdid it when I accidentally ate popcorn too loudly while Ironhide was chasing Sides and Sunny around the training yard)

(Neither the Twins nor 'Hide were amused)

(Whoops)

**#87 Males of the base, DO NOT enter a female's room unannounced**

(Poor Bulkhead almost had an arm blown off by an indecent Chromia)

(She scowled at him every time she saw him for the next 3 days)

(We found it hilarious)

**#88 Do not just enter someone's room and turn the lights on**

(Particularly if it's early in the morning and the room's inhabitant had late monitor duty)

(Delta actually jumped onto Optimus' back when he turned on the light)

(It was 4:30am)

(And Delta is NOT a morning person)

(AND she had had to do paperwork until 2:15am)

(Delta Prime + lack of sleep + unsuspecting partner = a dent in the helm)

**#89 While using a holoform in public, please try to act normal**

(Mudflap and Skids were apparently caught on the motorway going 88mph while their holoforms were sat on their roofs)

(The bots were NOT happy)

(How did they get out of this one, you ask?)

(NEST had to claim to the poor policeman who had seen them that they were testing-out those new, driverless cars. We even had to forge documentation saying that they were allowed to be doing it at speed in a public area)

(The police still fined them for it)

(Hey, at least they weren't sent to prison!)

**#90 If you value your life and/or sanity, do not enter Wheeljack's lab unsupervised, uninvited or unauthorised**

(Seriously)

(Those 57 warning signs on the door are there for a reason)

(Mirage went in there to tell 'Jackie something the other week and he left with all the paint from his back missing...)

(We reckon Wheeljack LIKES the explosions)

(Despite all this, Galloway was tricked into entering the lab)

(He left with one missing eyebrow and glow-in-the-dark hair for a week)

(We think he was lucky)

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Read and review, please!


	11. Rules 91-99

**Transformers and other recognisable brands do not belong to me, but to their respective owners.**

Hey guys! Sorry for the late update, but I've been busy and I really wanted to get the next chapter to my other story, 'Queens of the World', out. This is a slightly shorter chapter because I'm going to do a long #100. Enjoy!

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**#91 NEVER interrupt Ratchet when his medical programmes (ie. House, M.D., M.A.S.H, Holby City and Casualty) are on. NEVER.**

(Poor, poor Jolt accidentally caused a power surge in the rec room that caused the TV to black out)

(It happened to occur just as Ratchet was tuning-into that week's installment of Grey's Anatomy)

(Hell hath no fury like a grumpy medic scorned)

(Jolt awoke the next morning with his servos welded to the top of his helm, and a nicely-written - but ominous - note on his door saying _'Looks like you're gonna need to see a medic about that...'_)

(Jolt weighed-up his options and decided to pay Knock Out a visit instead)

(Unfortunately, when the blackout occurred, Ratchet happened to also be in the process of recording the programmes for Knock Out to watch too...)

(Let's just say that Jolt looked rather odd with both his servos AND a bucket welded to his helm...)

**#92 Please don't make Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions in front of Blitzwing's Angry persona**

(It makes him even MORE angry)

(Besides, I thought Arnie was Austrian and Blitzy has a German accent...)

(Although I guess everyone's favourite psychotic Decepticon DOES bare a slight resemblance to him...)

(Anyway, the simple fact of the matter is that Bumblebee almost got vapourised when he said _'Hasta la vista, baby'_ to Blitzwing)

(Man, that Camaro's gotta lay off the Terminator...)

**#93 Don't show anyone 'Actual Cannibal Shia LaBoeuf'**

(For some reason, he bares an uncanny resemblance to our Sam...)

(It was for this reason that 15 bots purposely avoided him for 3 days)

(Poor Sam hadn't even seen the video when this happened, so was rather insulted by the whispers of _'cannibal' _and _'run' _when around others)

(When he DID see the video, he was thoroughly disturbed)

(AND we all have the song stuck in our heads!)

**#94 Don't bother questioning Elita's taste in music**

(Not even Prowl knows quite why she has One Direction and Take That on the same playlist as Black Veil Brides, Iron Maiden and Bullet for my Valentine...)

(Arcee asked her once, and Elita just gave her an odd look, asking _'doesn't everyone do this?'_)

(Yeah, sometimes I find it's best not to ask...)

**#95 Hide and seek is prohibited**

(Bet you thought that it'd be easy to hunt for giant, brightly-coloured robots in a military base, huh?)

(Wrong)

(They ARE called 'Robots in Disguise' for a REASON...)

(It took approximately 3.82 minutes for Crosshairs to find Leo)

(It took approximately 7.92 HOURS for Sam to find Jazz)

(In fact, we're not entirely sure if Prowl or Mirage have been found yet...)

**#96 Always be cautious when Bulkhead asks you to model for his latest painting**

(And I though MY Bulkhead was bad - this one once had me stood on one foot for 3.5 hours, while wearing an empty oil drum on my head!)

(Poor Drift had to balance on his hands in the air on the tip of his sword)

(Thankfully, he didn't slip)

(But he was very, very bored)

(So he wrote more haikus)

**#97 Saturday is not to be a celebration just because it it Galloway's day off**

(We planned a whole party one Saturday)

(There were balloons, food, games, and all the N.E.S.T personnel were invited!)

(And then Galloway appeared)

(Apparently, someone *cough*BUMBLEBEE*cough* had misread the date - it was Friday, not Saturday)

(Galloway was not amused)

(Bumblebee was embarrassed)

(We were annoyed)

**#98 Shame on you if you use sweet little Annabelle Lennox to protect yourself for any reason**

(The poor girl is constantly being used as an excuse for getting out of being punished)

(For example:_ 'But Ratchet, you cannot possibly throw a spanner at my head as Annabelle is in the room - what would she say?'_ and _'Ah ah ah, Ironhide, there's no point in violently swearing at us - what would Sarah and Will say if Annie starts spouting random swear words?'_)

(This actually works...)

(...Until Annie goes home)

**#99 Speaking of Annabelle, DO NOT feed her extra portions of sugar**

(Sarah Lennox has been very clear on just how much sugar Annie should consume per day)

(After reading-up about treats on the Internet, Optimus decided to reward Annabelle for being good by giving her a bag of sweets)

(He was unaware of what he had released)

(First of all, she ran around the rec room 17 times)

(Then she decided to draw 'pretty pictures' all over the walls and. And a recharging Ironhide)

(Then she botnapped Wheelie)

(This was followed by the bots chasing her around the base for the next 20 minutes while trying to rescue the screaming Wheelie)

(And it was all topped-off with her 'sugar low', and she cried for 15 minutes straight)

(The Lennoxes were not happy)

(Turns out, what seemed like a small amount of food to an Autobot was comparatively larger to a human)

(Whoops)

* * *

Well, hope you enjoyed it! The next chapter will be #100 and will be of the same style as #50

See ya!


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